"abram"

Ok! So, I am a nerd! I guess you all need to know that about me! I love reading and researching, especially the Bible. While participating in Beth Moore's Bible Study "The Patriarchs" we looked deeply into Genesis 13 and God's promises to Abram. She pointed out something that has just blown my mind. In Genesis 13 Abram and Lot (and their respective camps) had started to disagree with one another, basically they were overcrowded. Instead of allowing the arguing to continue Abram acted quickly and wisely and suggested they separate. 

After they separated God spoke to Abram and in verse 14 God told him 'Lift your eyes NOW (emphasis mine) and look from the place where you are northward, southward, eastward, and westward; 15. for all the land which you see I give to you and your descendants as the dust of the earth; so that if a man could number the dust of the earth, then your descendants also could be numbered."

It floors me that God chose and continues to choose everyday people to do amazing feats and miracles. Abram's family were not (at that time) God followers. Abram was just another man; seems a pretty awesome promise for God to make with an ordinary man. We all know the story though, it's not news to any of us that God made a life-changing covenant with Abram. It's the wording of verse 14 that has shed new light on God and Abram's relationship.

 The New King James Version (along with the King James and others I'm sure) uses the word "now". Many other translations do not have the word "now" in the text. In Hebrew the word now is a small particle, not a big deal- but it's English translation or equivalent is "please". It means "I pray you! Now! According to Beth Moore it was used as a urgent and strong affirmation, not a plea. 

So, read Genesis 13:14 again and put the meaning of "now" in the text. It would sound something like, "Abram, I pray you lift your eyes and look from the place where you are" or (from Beth Moore) "Abram, please believe Me when I tell you to lift up your eyes and look around you. I will give this land to you and your offspring forever."

God truly wanted Abram to believe Him. He urged Abram to see the truth. God wanted Abram to understand just how deep His love was for him. He (God) did care! It still blows my mind to think that God was invested in Abram. He is invested in us. He could've done it all on His own. God could've saved Lot, He could've done everything He had Abram do- but He truly wanted Abram to do it. God wants to use us. 

God chose to create us. He chose to invest His heart, His Son, and His love in us. He wants to use us to show more people His love. God wants to fellowship with us. He wants us to believe in Him. When we don't follow His plan He hurts. No, He doesn't need us, but He wants us. Do you guys see? He does not need us to fulfill His plan, to do His work, or anything like that. He chooses to use us simply because He loves us, because He wants us to be involved in His work with Him. He wants to fellowship with us. God wants us to believe Him for no other reason but that He cherishes us and our time with Him. He is invested in us. 

I know this is longer than normal and maybe more than what you guys wanted, but God laid it on my heart so I figured I should probably share it with you!!!

hope God uses His Word to touch your hearts like He did mine!!!

Jacob & Esau (part 1)

 So, I bet almost everyone as heard the story of Jacob and Esau, and most of you have probably read about their tangled and troubled relationship.

If you have time read over Genesis 25 through 33. In the start of 25 the sibling rivalry is just beginning, however by 27 it is at it's best. 

In chapter 27 Jacob steals Esau's birthright and Esau is distraught. After that the brothers basically separate and their animosity for one  another is part of their lives, but placed on the back burner for a time. Esau went about his life, marrying more women that would be and cause grief to his parents. Jacob went to Paddan Aram- the home of his mother's family to find a wife. For 20 years Jacob worked for Laban- father of Rachel and Leah. After 20 years of attempting to earn the man's daughters Jacob finally decided he'd had enough. The Lord instructed him to return to his father's people. So he was going home. i wonder if he realized right away this meant he would likely run into his brother. Do you think he was worried or scared.

What would you do to your brother? Would you harbor animosity for years and years, would you create a wild and outlandish plan to get even with him, or would you move on with your life and make the most of what you were dealt? 

You know God told Jacob's mom (Rebekah)  "two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from w/in you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger."

   

Did you know that it was Rebekah's idea for Jacob to steal Esau's birthright? God had promised her. I mean the Lord spoke to her and told her Jacob would be stronger than Esau and also that Esau would serve his brother. She heard the Lord say this and she still plotted and planned to ensure that Jacob was the most powerful brother with his father's blessing. No, she was not deaf! I already checked! How could she do that? She heard from God and she still acted like a silly human. 

We as humans are so like Rebekah. We hear from God, the Bible tells us exactly how we are supposed to live each day, yet we still offer God our own human take on His rules, His expectations, and His plan for us. Why is that? Why can't we just trust the Father to work His plans His way? 

I think it is because if we just "trust" we are letting go. We are giving up the "white-knuckle" grip we have on our lives and letting someone else have the wheel. I think it is time to see what God might do with my life if I give Him control.

How bout you?

Is it because I can or because I have to?

I just read something in Bible Study and I thought I would share it, with who you ask? Well, you, for starters and anyone else that might need it today! I am slowly doing Tammie Head's study, "Duty or Delight". It is great! I have never thought about some of the things that she mentions, but it is nice to remember that I am not the first and definitely won't be the last Christian to act out of guilt and not conviction. The coolest part though, the part that brings me to tears and makes me want to write as fast as my fingers can move is this: I don't have to be perfect for God, Jesus has already achieved that necessary perfection for me. All I have to do is trust and walk. The guilt that I feel at times when my walk is lacking is not from God. It is satan trying to cause a massive stumble, because when I feel guilty I began to act out of a sense of duty and not because I am madly, desperately in love with my Jesus. I don't often think about the difference between guilt and conviction, but today because of this study I find myself bouncing several thoughts around in my head. When I feel guilty about my behavior or things I am not doing I will usually attempt to correct the behavior myself or do whatever it is I am feeling guilty for not doing. It is usually to no avail, because guilt is not a proper motivator. It simply makes me feel farther away from everything. However, when the Holy Spirit convicts, that feeling is different. It makes me feel wanted. Sure, it may bother me because at times I/we choose consciously to make bad/wrong decisions, but the alternative is not something I ever want to experience. I would rather be convicted by the Spirit everyday than ever be separated from my "dad". Several things I read today made total sense, but the one idea that so far makes the most sense and seems to be causing my heart to dance is this; when I act out of a feeling of duty or obligation I am missing out on the best part- the love relationship between He and I. Guilt leads to shame but for me conviction leads to repentance and an even deeper walk with He who daily saves me. 

Diapers and Juice Cups

Do you ever struggle with who you want to be? Not just the kind of wife, mother, or friend you want to be, but deeper?  Deeper in your heart of hearts; do you ever truly battle with who you are and who you know desperately that you should be? Maybe it’s just me, maybe it is a personal battle that no one else faces, but something tells me that’s not true, (that if all Christians were honest with each other and themselves) that this is a battle we all face, that we all struggle and muddle through. For me it seems that the older I get the more I feel worn down by the battle. I thought the hard part was growing up, staying strong through high school, through boyfriends, peer pressure, and then College, but to be honest that was a breeze. Then I wanted nothing more than to be weird, to stand out, to be different, to be so in love with Jesus that my every move was an example of Him and his heart. But now as an adult; a mom and wife it seems that those wants get lost somewhere between the first diaper in the morning and the 50^th juice cup before bedtime. It seems that life keeps getting in my way. When there are trials it is easy to depend on and run to Jesus but when life is just moving alone at mock nine it seems almost impossible to get it right. The more I try to fix this the harder it gets. The more I try to focus on the goal the more my mind wanders. The deeper the longing is in my heart the louder the screams of the world become. The more my heart aches for Him the more I struggle through the battle, stumbling along the way. It is then in those struggles, when that powerful right hand of my Savior is lifting me up that I realize I am not alone. I cannot do this on my own. I am only me, one person. There are too many juice cups and diapers in the air for me to do this without help from Jesus himself. For me, letting go is often hard. Jesus often speaks to me through lightning bolts, so day-to-day can sometimes be overwhelming. I have no problem following in the hard times and trusting His plan, but when the hard stuff is over and the running turns to walking I often stumble. I forget to take time and thank Him for the normal day-to-day things. Walking with Jesus is a lifestyle and it requires daily participation. If I only take part in the hard times I will miss the good stuff, the love and companionship that can only grow and deepen through daily interaction. That is my goal, to go deeper. Today I am drawing the proverbial line in the sand. Today I am laying it all down and realizing that I am not alone, I am not strong, and without Him it doesn’t matter if I am walking or running, because without Him there is no reason to do either. Today I am acknowledging Psalms 63:8, “I hold on to you, and your powerful right hand takes care of me.” I want that more than ever, to let it all go and to just follow.

I hope maybe for someone this hits home. That my honesty and willingness to share my heart will remind you how blessed we are to walk and run with Jesus, how lucky we are to have a Savior who was willing to sacrifice everything for us. I hope you will take the challenge and decide to give Him your all, your everything, the desires of your heart, and the cries from your soul. Let Him have all of you, just sit back and watch, wait and see what awesome things He can do with all of us! 

Gratitude (x2)

I cant help but wander if those words are true. Do they represent me, my faith, my heart? Do I trust my God that much? Does my love for Him go so deep w/in my soul that no matter what happens (or doesn't happen) in my life it will still be solid and growing? How about you? Is your faith that solid? 

I find myself thinking about a verse in Hebrews (12:28-29- 28Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, 29for our "God is a consuming fire.") 

Our GOd has given us His unconditional love and a kingdom that can never be defeated, can never be destroyed. He is indestructable!!  I can't help but wonder though, is my love for Him that strong. Do I, on a daily basis, give Him the control necessary to forge that bond within my own heart. If we understand the verse and apply it to our lives we can see that God in us is unchanging. He is always there walking with us. I want to get to that point- where my faith is like His kingdom- "unshakable".

In the song there are struggles; pleas for rain, for food, and for peace. God's power to grant those prayers is in the forefront of the song, but also there- just as plain and spelled out, is His power not to answer those pleas for help. As a Christian I often forget that God is not required to keep me happy and healthy. His goodness is not based on His speedy answering all of my prayers, no matter how heart felt they are. Sometimes I forget that I am full of sin and there are consequences for my actions and my choices- even the small, seemingly insignificant ones. Often it seems, I want God right in the middle of all the "Stuff" in my life, but at the time I was making the decisions that caused the "STUFF" I had pushed Him to a small corner of my heart and turned the light off! 

What about you? Do you make the choices, the decisions, and then get frustrated when God is not right there to fix your mess for you? Do you push Him away and then expect Him to simply "know" when you might want Him to get involved? What about the tough stuff? Do you struggle with the "or maybe not" moments? The moments when God doesn't answer a particular prayer? Is He still your rock in those times? Let me encourage you to let Him be your rock always! When life is perfect praise Him for it, enjoy it with Him, but when life throws you curve balls and you can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel let Him be your God and your source then too. Just trust. Open your whole heart to Him and He will do the rest.

 One more thing before i go, if your mad- tell Him, if your sad- tell Him, if you don't understand why- ask Him- and then remember this- "but maybe not, not today- maybe He'llprovide in other ways"! 

He is always there- you just have to let Him be.

Gratitude

One of my most favorite artists is Nichole Nordeman. She is deep, her songs, usually tell a story. But if you aren't listening then you can get lost in the words and not get the meaning. One of my favorite songs is "Gratitude". I am going to post the lyrics b/c I think you will all understand what I mean better if you get a chance to read them for yourselves. So, read the lyrics and then there is a"long-winded" post to follow!!

love you all!

Send some rain, would You send some rain?

'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again

And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade

Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?

Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down

Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid

But maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You

With gratitude

For lessons learned in how to thirst for You

How to bless the very sun that warms our face

If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread

Bless our bodies, keep our children fed

Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight

Wrap us up and warm us through

Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs

Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time

Or maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You

With gratitude 

A lesson learned to hunger after You

That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between

What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace

Move our hearts to hear a single beat

Between alibis and enemies tonight

Or maybe not, not today

Peace might be another world away

And if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

We'll give thanks to You

With gratitude

For lessons learned in how to trust in You

That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream

In abundance or in need

And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

One More Thing: Moses

You know in the beginning of Moses’s journey with God He was afraid, nervous, and probably we could even say scared silly. He knew that in himself he could not perform the tasks God was asking him to do and he knew that letting God down was not something he wanted on his “resume’”. So he whined, isn’t that what any good god-fearing servant does before beginning something hard and challenging? I mean think about it… don’t we whine when God throws us a curve ball? Don’t we fuss when all of a sudden the path changes and our desires take a back seat to god’s plan? But you know God didn’t change His mind, didn’t waver in the plan he had for Moses, but he did provide Moses with a helper, with a partner along the journey. God used Aaron to show Moses that His ways are perfect and when he says, “do this” we should never doubt that God knew how we would achieve and that more importantly he would give us the tools we needed to succeed.

So how do you think Moses felt as the Israelites were fleeing Pharaoh? Do you think he thought “oh yeah, I’m somebody and I’ve done something now”, or do you think even then after seeing all that God had done, all that God had used him to do he was still afraid, still nervous, and probably still scared silly?  I think he was still scared silly, but you know the cool part? You know what makes me want to be like Moses? He never quit walking! He never gave up and even when He and the people were stuck wandering in the wilderness year after year, he persevered. Sure he had moments of doubt, of anger, and you know I bet there were times He was certain he had a better plan to get the people to where they needed to be than God’s. And yes, there were a few times He did “let God down”, there were moments when his flesh took over, when his ambition got in the way, and his human emotions ran rampant. But he was man enough (child of God enough) to admit those faults, to take responsibility for those sins, and still cling to God’s promise of a new home for the Israelites a new life for his children. Moses was a man but more than that, Moses was God’s man. Yes, he had flesh; yes, he made mistakes, but you know what: His walk with God grew year after year, deepened day after day and in the darkest moments in the wilderness, when eating more manna made Moses want to cry; He still walked, He still trusted, and He still followed God.